I'll take Culinary Prowess for $800, Alex.

It's Kids Week on Jeopardy* which means I feel Very Very Smart every night at 7:30. Kinda takes the fun out of trash talking the contestants. (But not really because smart kids are so annoying. Am I right, people?)

Hey! I made some salsa! (Thanks for the recipe, Lauren.)

the "before" picture

I'd show you the finished product but I apparently threw some pure crack into the mixture because it did not last long up in here. We're talking not even howyousay? one day.

I also made some cupcakes for work! Because, ya know, if my co-workers insist on always being dedicated and professional, the least I can do is try to make them fatter than me.



*Jeopardy is my very favorite television program. The roommates call it Tourette's Hour because you can hear me downstairs shouting at the TV, "Eggnog! Margaret Thatcher! CHIMPANZEES!" Also, I need friends.

Move Over Dr. Phil!

I was giving a friend some relationship advice the other day and, midway through, realized I was actually quoting lyrics from a Brooks & Dunn song.

Because I am that awesome.

Old Friends are the Best Kind

My Favorite Freckle

I have freckles. I like 'em. My favorite is right under my left eye.

This is my left eye:

Did ya see it? Right there?

That's my favorite freckle.

Disgusting Things I Actually Eat

Hey everyone! It's time for another installment of DTIAE!

I'm usually pretty conscientious of what I put in my body. I do the whole free-range meat/eggs thing and organic dairy thing and I dig the fresh fruits/veggies. I typically try to avoid preservative- or additive-heavy foods.

But sometimes . . . . heh, heh . . . . sometimes I eat truly despicable things.

DTIAE #1: Taco Bell Nachos
These guys are ridiculously gross. It's essentially fried bits of white flour & grease dipped in radioactive, alien cheese-like goo. And they are gooood. Pretty much any item on the Bell's menu reduces your life expectancy by a few years and actually going inside a Taco Bell restaurant is a sure-fire way to contract hepatitis but, like an old boyfriend, I keep going back to it. "I know I'm going to hate myself tomorrow, but right now you're all I need."

DTIAE #2: Sonic Frito Burrito
This is like a gift from the heartburn gods. They take a flour tortilla, slap a little Hormel on it, add some of our favorite cheesy goo, crumble Fritos on top and then I think they have some sweaty guy in the back sit on it for a few minutes before they wrap it up and slide it through your window. I don't eat there regularly, but every couple of years I think, "Ya know, I haven't felt the symptoms of dysentery lately. I should probably go to Sonic."


I feel gross just thinking about this food. Uggh. If you'll excuse me, I need to go eat some broccoli or something.

Next time on Disgusting Things I Actually Eat: Chinese take-out! Wo hui yong kuai zi!

Because, despite appearances, we're basically children and we're okay with that.

My thirty-year-old friend Keith shushed me last night when the trailer for G.I. Joe came on the television. He leaned forward on the couch and giggled (like a little girl) with excitement during the whole commercial.

"I have all those action figures," he told me. "They're at my parents' house."

"And how often do you play with them?" Karen asked.

"Every time I go home!" he enthusiastically admitted.

Just as I was about the tease him mercilessly for this display of juvenile fervor, the trailer for the new Harry Potter came on. (The trailer that I've seen at least 8 times, by the way.) I literally squealed with delight and watched, completely enraptured, while whispering, "Oh, I am so excited!"

Keith raised an eyebrow at me.


Ah, yes. Well, I'll forgive your nerdiness, dear, if you'll forgive mine.

From ev'ry mountainside . . .

Intellectually I know that America is no better than any other country;
emotionally I know she is better than every other country.
~Sinclair Lewis

I have a problem

The Truth

I tell people I wear heels a lot because I'm so short, but really I wear them because they make me feel powerful.

Who da ho?

I headed out on the wide open highway this weekend. Destination: Idaho. Reason: baby shower.

Living on the edge, folks.

The dullness of the drive was assuaged because I had this chick with me, a steady supply of Big Gulps, and 80's music until our ears bled. I think by hour six Melissa was thinking, "Seriously with the Whitesnake again?" (P.S. If you don't know Melissa, just imagine a skinnier, blonder version of me, but, ya know, actually funny.)

My enjoyment of the shower was augmented by the inclusion of delicious chicken salad sandwiches, of which I consumed 4 or 18. But my personal favorite part of the entire weekend was when Melissa told a tiny child, "Get a life, baby," which is probably the best thing I've ever heard.

It was lovely to see my old friends and I was, once again, reminded why I am so glad Corrine married Kristofer:

a) he recognizes the white gummi bears are the best flavor and he knows the Haribo brand is the only kind worth buying anyway

b) he made meatloaf & mashed potatoes for dinner (while I napped on the couch--double score!)

c) he bought me a pina colada sno-cone

(Yeah, I just realized all those have to do with food. There are other reasons why I like Kristofer, like the time he totally ring-checked a cute guy for me, but I was just really hungry this weekend.)

Next road trip: Boise in July. Anyone care to join me?