As a rule, I avoid publicly shaming and humiliating my exes. Ya know, cause I'm classy like that. But the following story is gold and I just can't help myself sometimes.
A few years ago the guy I'd been seeing for a handful of months tells me he has a surprise for me.
Ooo, yay. I like surprises. He had written me a poem. (all the ladies go "aw" now, please) Looking deeply into my eyes, he began to recite.
I must've looked something like this:
because the man actually made mention of my "good hygiene" and brought up the fact that I am "well-groomed" twice in his amorous rhyme. He also said several times that I smelled "irresistible."
Seriously? You're smitten with my grooming habits?
Gentlemen, I wouldn't pursue this avenue of affection if I were you. Trust me . . . I have great hygiene. (At least that's the word on the street.)