I should just get a t-shirt that says "I did not get any action today."

So you know when you go take a nap in your car on your lunch break and then you find a bottle of men's cologne under your front seat (because why not, really?) and you play with it because you can't possibly find something weird in your car and not play with it but then the top breaks off and you spill men's cologne all over your sweater and then you go back to work and your hair is all mussed from your nap and you smell like men's cologne and everyone is like, "Um, where have YOU been?" with a raised eyebrow and you're like, "Nowhere!" but your story sounds very suspicious and everyone does not believe you when you're all, "Seriously, people, it has been a while but thanks for bringing it up," and they just smile all knowing-like and you go back to your office all dejected because you know your co-workers think you're kind of a hoochie?



Yeah, I hate that.