In which I save the day.

One of my co-workers is, there's no other word for it, a babe. She is smokin' hot. It's the profusion of platinum blond hair, the legs for days (seriously, how long are people's legs these days?), the gleaming smile and the perkiness, dear heavens, the perkiness. She's basically hot. And she walks around like she doesn't realize that her very existence is what makes the self-esteem of short, podgy brunettes deflate faster than Popeye pancakes on a cold morning. (Because we really need more help with that.)

One day my office phone rang. It was SHB (smoking hot babe, obviously). She sounded panicked and asked if I could come unlock the door for her. She was trapped inside a classroom and needed to be rescued. I was confused as none of our classrooms have automatic locks and, even if the door was locked, shouldn't you be able to open it from the inside?

I asked a few clarifying questions and soon discovered the problem.



She was pushing.




She needed to be pulling.



So sure, she's stunningly gorgeous and has a rack you could bounce quarters off. But me? Well, I can open a flippin' door by myself.

 She's not much to look at but man can she open doors!