Dear Ladies of the Office,
We are excited to announce the women's bathroom is now stocked with ½-ply toilet paper! A scientific breakthough to be sure, we have devised a way to actually split 1-ply paper in half and thereby offering the thinnest toilet paper in existence! Yes, it's true; you will now be required to utilize approximately 14,327 sheets to ensure a dry undercarriage. Don't worry though, for we promise to never leave more than a single roll in each stall. Enjoy!
Sincerely, The Custodial Staff