Dear Ladies of the Office,
We are excited to announce the women's bathroom is now stocked with ½-ply toilet paper! A scientific breakthough to be sure, we have devised a way to actually split 1-ply paper in half and thereby offering the thinnest toilet paper in existence! Yes, it's true; you will now be required to utilize approximately 14,327 sheets to ensure a dry undercarriage. Don't worry though, for we promise to never leave more than a single roll in each stall. Enjoy!
Sincerely, The Custodial Staff
6 comments:
Dry undercarriage?!?!? Heavens! You poor thing. Maybe you should keep a stash in your office. But remember: keep it secret, keep it safe. You don't want anyone else getting in on that action. Let them fend for themselves.
In these squalid circumstances, I wouldn't be surprised if we all revert to our truculent, feral selves. We should have some kind of bartering system in place.
"I'll complete that report for you if you give me some Charmin."
Wow..sounds like some management tatic to increase productivity. No one will be drinking and chatting, because they will be waiting to go to use the bathroom...sheer brilliance.
*waiting to go HOME to use the bathroom..*
It's okay. I'd welcome the 1/2 ply. They stock the men's bathroom with 30 grit.
As long as we don't revert all the way back to our truculent, fecal selves.
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