Friday, May 15, 2009

O woeful day!* Also, the post where I use excessive parentheses.

I hate to cry. It's quite possibly my least favorite thing in the universe. (And that's saying something, what with the Dixie Chicks and leggings paired with skirts still on the table.) Usually if I feel the urge to cry I'll tell myself, "Snap out of it! You're a grown woman!" And then if I still need to cry, I allow myself a couple of tears and then clear my throat and say, "Snap out of it! You're a grown woman!" I'm not kidding when I say I very rarely cry.

But this week . . . ugh . . . this week has been a week. Basically, everything is sucky and lame. (No, I'm not at all prone to exaggeration. Why would you even ask?) And to top it off, my sister moved yesterday to flippin' Baltimore. Geez, who would even want to live in Maryland? (Except for roughly 83% of my family.) For your information, folks: Maryland=nerdy. I'm just saying.

So I've been mucking through in my usual non-weepy state, but then this:

They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it, and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future.*


And this:

'You ought to be ashamed of yourself . . . a great girl like you . . . to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.*


And really how can you argue with that? (Don't question my logic.)

So let's review the times Kim has cried today:

1. When she went the wrong way to work this morning resulting in a six-mile detour. (You may wonder how a person can go the wrong way to a place she's been going every weekday for four years, but hey, it happens.)
2. When her boss asked for her new emergency contact and she couldn't think of anyone. (Sad.)
3. When her chicken breast on ciabatta was undercooked at lunch. (Yeah, I ate it anyway so if I mysteriously stop posting or answering emails, I might be dead. Farewell. Thanks for reading.)
4. When she heard a song on her iPod from EFY 1997. (What? You didn't upload 4 years' worth of EFY soundtracks on your iPod? Well, I'm not saying anything but I'd sure hate to be you on Judgement Day is all.)

So I've cried 4 times today. I have got to snap out of it. Seriously. Tell me a joke. Or call me and sing me a funny song. C'mon, because All By Myself sung by Eric Carmen is getting old (and so is Eric Carmen).


*Name that literary work and get a prize! (Prize: me saying "Awesome. You are cool." Unless you want to go get pineapple smoothies with me later tonight. My treat.)

13 comments:

Karen said...

Maybe instead of listening to "All By Myself", you should switch to "Make Me Lose Control" or "Hungry Eyes". With the latter, you can have happy thoughts of Patrick Swayze dancing his way through the 60s and sweeping Baby off her feet. Because really, Mr. Swayze looked at his best in that movie. Roadhouse is a close second.
And if that doesn't work, remember fluffy hair and glasses. Seemed to work last night!

Kristina P. said...

I cried today too when I found out that they are moving me to the other office to help "fix" it. Now, I have to work from 4-midnight! I love how the competent people always get shafted.

Hey, at least it's hard to create a situation where a divorce is possible if you never see your husband!

Whitney said...

Dude you can totally put me as your emergency contact! I don't know any of your families numbers, or who'd I'd even call, if a child throws a toy at your head and knocks you unconscious...but I'd be there for support :)

I agree crying sucks! Sorry your day has been crappy. At least you didn’t have some old farts with nothing better to do call the popo on you and your bro this morning…long story. Chin up sista!

ammyers0604 said...

awww..it's okay to cry sometimes..it actually helps with the stress..that is why guys need to cry more..not good to bottle it all in!!!
AND EFY 1997...was that when we went?? That was AWESOME!! I miss the good ol days with you!Hope things cheer up for you!!!

Jen said...

I would give you a link to something to cheer you up but it would probably be a link to one of your own posts, so... i don't know if that would help. Or would it? It helps me to read through the archives of my blog and I laugh and think, dang, I am funny.

Corrine said...

well I love you!! if you very need a break you always welcome up here!! :)

Beerman said...

I'm pretty sure the crying jag is related to the previous post re: the exclusion of doughnuts.

I knew there would be side effects when one messes with the awesome powers of the donut!

Seek donuts now and all will be righted.

(hope u smiled)

Celestial Soldier said...

Sense and Sensibility. Don't tell anyone I said that though.

yamanin said...

Wait...

"Maryland=nerdy"

Is that the good nerdy or the bad nerdy?

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Did anyone guess Alice in Wonderland? That's what I say, and I did not cheat this time. I didn't. I ... no one ever believes me. But I really just know things.

Two cannibals are munching on a clown. First turns to second and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Some people believe in astrology and say there is something about Mercury that makes people a little crazy now. My little boy freaked out about his planets poster, specifically a spooky hand like cloud formation over Venus. I'm only frightened by Uranus.

You should cry more. It feels good.

Dale Kemp said...

I never know what to do when a woman starts crying.

I become all agreeable. I pretty much agree to anything to get it to stop so I'm going to ignore most of what you wrote since I don't like to be too agreeable. Perhaps you should start referring to yourself as Alice as in "Alice in Wonderland".

But sometimes you just have to get it out of your system so here are some other song suggestions

"One is the loneliest number" -Aimee Mann (my favorite version)

"I wish it would rain down" - Phil Collins

"Hurt" -both the Johnny Cash and Nine Inch Nails versions

Megan said...

I'm going with Romeo & Juliet.

Kim said...

Oh yay! You're all right, Jacob, Brandy and Megan. The 3 quotes were from (in order) Romeo and Juliet, Sense and Sensibility, and Alice in Wonderland.

This has made me exceedingly happy. You are all awesome.