Wednesday, March 4, 2009

You're Replaceable

Last night driving home from work, I thought to myself, “I should call James and see if he wants me to come pick him up for dinner,” but then I realized that my baby brother doesn’t live in Provo anymore and so I can’t just go down and rock his world with a Pizza Factory visit.

I continued to think about little James and that time I went down to visit and bought that poor kid shampoo, garbage bags and Band-Aids. He looked at me like I’d offered him my kidney. And that other time I lent him White Rhino for a whole weekend just ‘cause. Man, I’m an awesome big sister. But now I’m suffering pangs of brother-withdrawl. I asked my mom if she would send a replacement (they’ve got FOUR MORE of ‘em out there, for heaven’s sake!); she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You know what else? Huh? Huh? My dumb ol’ sister will soon be whisking her own brood out of state and far away from me: the Great Spoilin’ Aunt. Who’s going to dump out the contents of my purse searching for the gum and candy they know will always be there? (I mean, besides on Fast Sundays when I do it myself.) And mid-day Frosty runs? Gone. (P.S. Amy, did you know I give your kids ice-cream practically every time I see them? No?)

All my spoilees are leaving. I need a replacement!

Maybe I’ll get a puppy.


By the way, got this in an email from James just this morning:
"Febuary had a record amount of homicides [in Juarez]. But don´t worry, only about 5 were in our area."
Yeah, James . . . that's how to allay your mother's fears. Smart.

1 comment:

the-yagger said...

that's exactly what i thought about his letter. has your mom gotten used to him yet, or does he still driver her bonkers with things like that?