Wednesday, April 14, 2010

In which I save the day.

One of my co-workers is, there's no other word for it, a babe. She is smokin' hot. It's the profusion of platinum blond hair, the legs for days (seriously, how long are people's legs these days?), the gleaming smile and the perkiness, dear heavens, the perkiness. She's basically hot. And she walks around like she doesn't realize that her very existence is what makes the self-esteem of short, podgy brunettes deflate faster than Popeye pancakes on a cold morning. (Because we really need more help with that.)

One day my office phone rang. It was SHB (smoking hot babe, obviously). She sounded panicked and asked if I could come unlock the door for her. She was trapped inside a classroom and needed to be rescued. I was confused as none of our classrooms have automatic locks and, even if the door was locked, shouldn't you be able to open it from the inside?

I asked a few clarifying questions and soon discovered the problem.

She was pushing.

She needed to be pulling.

So sure, she's stunningly gorgeous and has a rack you could bounce quarters off. But me? Well, I can open a flippin' door by myself.

 She's not much to look at but man can she open doors!


Celestial Soldier said...

I have a drawer full of quarters!

Kim said...

I do not understand your comment!

But I am excited about it nonetheless!

Alright quarter-drawers!

Dale said...

Life is a trade off.

Hot blondes are allowed to be dumb. No worries about that!

Mrs. B. Roth said...

I think your delectable!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ... hot girl is stoopid.

thanks for the story! :)

Becca's Blog said...

Kim, you are hilarious. I so love your sense of humor. I wish we would have hung out a bit more when I lived in could have made me laugh all day.

Also, I kind of love when I figure out that a super pretty girl is stupid. It just makes me feel better about myself and makes me remember that none of us can have it all.

momof8 said...

Correction--you are beautiful and can open a door too!

Celestial Soldier said...

"So sure, she's stunningly gorgeous and has a rack you could bounce quarters off."

Celestial Soldier said...

And just for the record, stupidity does not equal hot.

Kim said...

Ah, so much more sense it makes.

The problem here, Jake, is your humor is much more advanced than mine.

And, momof8, I could kiss you full on the mouth right now for saying that. Bless you.

The Short Family said...

Your story just made my day!!! I am glad you were able to rescue her!