Monday, May 10, 2010

Ten Reasons Going to the Utah Renaissance Festival was the Best Decision I Ever Made

1. Gretchen practically hyperventilated upon finding out it was not only a Renaissance Festival but a FANTASY FAIRE as well. And then I had to stop in the middle of the road with cars impatiently revving their engines behind me so we could snap a picture of the sign.

2. The parking lot was out in someone's field and it was so crisscrossed with tractor ruts that we were catching air the whole time. And then there's this guy who was gesturing like, "The awesome is that-a-way."

3. The lady at the jewelry booth thought Gretchen and I were lesbians. That was awesome.

4. Where else can you get a picture of your roommate (or lover) wearing a pretty princess tiara in front of a giant skull flag?

5. Because who can have a Renaissance Faire without an inexplicable pirate ship in the middle of a field?

6. Conversations like this:

"That's a really cool dragon."

"Um, it's not a dragon. It's a unicorn."


7. Seeing two grown men in costumes and tights hit each other with swords . . . .

 . . . until one of them gets hit in the manhood . . . .

. . . . so the other men in costume had to take over.

8. Jousting. 'Nuf said.

9. Gretchen volunteered me to wear the ridiculously heavy helmet so she (and several others) could mock me.

10. Roasted turkey legs. Holla!

I can't recommend it enough.


Damian said...

what a good idea

Kristina P. said...

I am royally jealous.

Celestial Soldier said...

What!? I want to be one of your lesbian lovers so I can eat giant Turkey legs and wear armor!

Kim said...

Oh Jake, if I had a nickel for every time someone said that to me . . .

Amy Brinton said...

At your wedding reception, if you do one of those tables with pictures of the bride and groom, you should definitely use the one of you in the helmet and chain mail.