Dating Discussions

One of the great things about having good friends is the insightful conversations you can have about relationships and dating. Here are some snippets from the latest.

Work Friend: Dude, [mutual friend] totally likes you!
Me: I find that unlikely.
WF: Naw, really! He told me! You guys should totally date! Awww! Cute!
Me: Well, if what you're saying is true, I certainly will not be dating him.
WF: Whhaaat? Why?
Me: I try to avoid dating men who are actually interested in me because the fact that they are is clearly indicative of severe psychological problems and I just can't deal with that. Thank you but I supply enough crazy for the both of us in relationships.
WF: You are so weird.
Me: Right?
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Me: I think every woman tries to relate to Elizabeth in Pride & Prejudice, but I have this awful feeling that I'm more like Lydia.
Roommate: Lydia?
Me: Oh wait, no. Lydia was taken in sin and thereby actually snagged a man. I'm Kitty. She's obnoxious and still ends up alone in the end.
RM: Nice.
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Friend: Hello, he will for sure fall for you as soon as he gets to know you.
Me: Sorry?
F: Yeah, like once he talks to you and sees how cool you are.
Me: Dude, did you just "great personality" me?
F: No! That's not what I meant! I mean, hello, you're gorgeous and awesome.
Me: If you start telling people about my "special spirit," I swear I'll hit you
F: Whatever! I tell people it's a good thing you're pretty because you're kind of a crappy person.
Me: Aww, thanks!
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I'm going to be out of commission for a while, but fear not: I will be back with plenty of snarkiness in a few days.