Thursday, September 11, 2008

Kim, aka "Snarky Bizz-o"

On occasion, I have been known to be a little sarcastic and even, when warranted, "snarky." Today was such an occasion.

Let me set the stage for you:

One of my co-workers is very nice, but . . . ah . . . um . . . she's about as sharp as a bowling ball. You know, dumb as a bag of rocks. That kind of thing.

One time she and I argued about the location of Spain. I submitted that Spain is part of the Iberian Peninsula and is bordered by the Mediterranian Sea. She contended that Spain is in South America. ( I swear I'm not making this up. I actually pulled out a map and showed her. "Look, there. See? Spain. That's Europe. Yeah, all of it is Europe.")

Another time, she called in sick because she had a "fever" of 78 degrees. Now I know that this is possible (well actually I don't know, but according to a human once survived a body temperature of 69 degrees) I'm just not convinced that my co-worker's claim was legit. She called and said, "Yeah, I'm just SO cold! I have a bunch of blankets on but I just can't get warm so I guess I can't come in." Right.

Today she came to me and said, "Hey, Kim? I just went into the kitchen and in the sink there were dirty dishes."

"Okay. . ." I said, wondering what the problem was.

CW: "So what should I do?"

Me: "Well, gee. You know, normally I would think that was a retarded question but I can see the problem here. My suggesting that you walk your [body part] back in there and perhaps wash them and quit bugging me with idiotic questions seems absurd."

CW: "Um, yeah."

Me: "Do you think I should call Security?"

Oh, I'm so mean sometimes. I feel slightly bad now.


Lizzy said...

I'm not scared of you! I think this is awesome. Maybe tomorrow I can call in dead, I mean almost dead, I mean sick, to work. cough cough!

Kim said...

I'm starting to take my friend's comment seriously when she explained that guys don't ask me out because "I'm intimidating."