Saturday, February 21, 2009

Proof I shouldn't blog before I'm fully awake.

Just a few minutes ago, while I was perched on the bathroom counter swishing Listerine, I was thinking about alcohol. Listerine is chock-full of the stuff (which is why you're not supposed to drink it) (unless you're my grandpa).

So the alcohol kills the germs in your mouth. Yeah, I know that Listerine tells you it kills germs with essential oils from eucalyptus and the like but I'm not buying it. Otherwise koalas would have beautiful healthy teeth and perennially fresh breath. I haven't spent a lot of time around koalas, but I can imagine. So if the alcohol kills germs, do other types of alcohol do the same? Like, could I keep a bottle of whiskey under my sink and swish with that twice daily? And if you're drunk do you have less bacteria in your mouth than someone who's not?

You know how they say a dog's mouth has less bacteria than a human's? Well what about a drunk? Where do they fit in the scale? Is it dog, drunk human, regular human? Or do drunk people surpass dogs? What about drunk dogs?

I'm just saying.


Karen said...

Oh, man! Who gave you access to a computer this morning?

Dale said...

Too funny!!! You must be a hoot to be around.

Corrine said...

wow... i cant even imagine thinking like you do. but i still love ya!

)en said...

Kim, i am a random blalker and I am now making myself known. i have to tell you i am a bit of a blog snob and rare is it that i find a good, decent, totally funny blog such as yours. And I think we might be blog soul friends. Anyway, hi, I'm Jen, and I busted up at: "what about drunk dogs?"

please don't be too creeped out. a little is ok. i would not blame you.

Kim said...

Wow, Jen. That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. Thanks.

And welcome! (Now we can blog-stalk each other.)

)en said...

absolutely. :)

Amy Brinton said...

This is my favorite post ever, Kim. The only glaring omission is, of course, drunk koalas.

*Plus, I think that you should make a pledge of your sobriety for mom's sake.

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