Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Women's Trouble Wednesday

So guys, let's talk about PMS.

A lot of women get testy during Special Week. That's not really my MO. Sure, I get a little on edge but I can usually control that particular side of my mental state which is a pretty good thing. Otherwise you might see on the news "Dozens injured when woman attacks East High students with a two-by-four while shouting, 'Why don't they just LOOK before crossing the street? And why do they take so freakin' long to walk across two lanes? WHY?'"

No, that's not my problem. I get rather irrational during Special Week. "What?" you say. "But you're usually so rational all the time!" I know, I know. It can be quite a shock.

How am I irrational? So glad you asked . . .

Yesterday I heard my boss approaching my office door and for some reason (I can't remember now) I didn't want to talk to her SO . . . I hid under my desk until she walked away. I freakin' kid you not. Me, a grown woman in my skirt and heels, curled up in a ball under my desk to avoid talking to someone. Yeah, I did. Because it seemed like such a judicious thing to do at the time.

And for some reason I was irritated at all the school zones on my morning commute today and shouted, "Why do we even have school zones? Look, if these kids don't know any better than to avoid speeding vehicles, they're idiots and deserve to get hit by a car!" Yes, I said these things. About children.

Luckily, Irrational Kim sticks around for exactly two days so she'll be gone tomorrow. Today, though, she's here in full force which is why I'm sucking down Diet Dr Pepper like it's oxygen and rocking back and forth in my chair while my eyes dart around at every sound like those of a frightened feral child.

Yep, today's gonna be a great day.


Kristina P. said...

That is hilarious!

And you work at East High?

Karen said...

Funniest. Ever. Hiding under your desk? Classic.

Alisca said...

One of the joys of living where I do in relation to my work is the lack of school zones. I do, however, have to deal with the idiot by the capital that STILL doesn't know how to load his bike on the bus! It's been 6 months and EVERY morning, he still struggles with it.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

You're a blogger superstar! So funny. How is it okay and natural for half the population to regularly go a little crazy? Hrumph. Well, there's always menopause to look forward to (thumbs up). Why do they call it menopause? It is menoSTOP, right? When it's done done your done. Right? Please ... make it stop ...

Melissa said...

OMG! Laughing so hard, my belly hurts!!! I have to know . . . what would you have done if she would have came into your office and noticed you on the floor . . . under your desk - AVOIDING HER?

Kim said...

I actually thought about that when I was down there. I came up with two responses.
1. "Ah! There it is!" (pick up pen off floor and scramble to feet)
2. "See! I can fit! Someone bet me I couldn't fit under my desk. Ha ha! She'll be eating her words now."